so green

You guys, I'm 24!!!!!!!

Ahem, so yeah. It was nice and there were tears and laughter and some more tears and cake. So it all worked out.

Missed my dad so damn much, but my mom cried with me and held me close, and then the bro listened to me lose it over the phone all over again and was generally sweet (for him) and, well, all was as good with the world as it could be, I guess.

Huge, mayor thanks to all the lovely ladies who sent some love over the magic railway lines of the internet, it made the day even more beautiful. SO THANK YOU FOR THAT.

I don't think I need to specify what I'm grateful for, do I?

::is blissful::

Ha. So, y'all remember that one time when I wrote about how I was gonna be kinda gone from the interwebz for a while? Well, I was not lying. In case you were interested.

Also, and MORE IMPORTANTLY,  ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I KINDA SUCK FOR NOT GETTING MY ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE SOONER TO WISH YOU A HAPPY B-DAY, BUT THEN I CAN STILL ::seriously believes:: WISH YOU A HAPPY, FULFILLING, FAR-REACHING LIFE, RIGHT??? ::like, seriously believes:: AND FOR ALL THE MANY WISHES AND EXPECTATIONS AND PROJECTS YOU HAVE TO COME TO BE?? BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT (because you use emoticons when you write by longhand, of course) AND I HOPE THEY DO, I WANT THEM TO COME TO BE, BB!!!!

Also also, the place where I'm at currently is so breath-taking-ly beautiful I cannot describe it properly, just know that there are mountains and cold and ROSES IN EVERY AVAILABLE SQUAURE INCH and, dear Lord, the colors! I'll upload pictures for you as soon as I get to a wi-fi bar (one of the at least fourteen I've already spotted in this less-than-twelve-blocks-large town, care to do the statistics for that?) and have access to my laptop's files.

Other than that: HI BARACKLES!!!!! I kinda miss you and it occurred to me that it's been so fucking long since I last sent you smoke signals it was embarrassing... HIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, this is me being all helpful and in my quest to make the world a better place.

The Encounter by cole_chan  deserves your total and undivided attention for the painfully short time it takes to read. Because it is lovely, adorable and utterly fangirling material. Even if you don't like/know of/fangirl to death one fandom or the other, or hey, either, you still should go and read simply for the pleasure of it. There. Um, it's a Doctor Who/Star Trek reboot crossover that makes so much sense and will leave you with the greatest starry eyes ever.

Also, went skiing, took a truckload of pictures, came home to a crashed computer, fixed the computer (because I rock, and am fearless and also desperate) by myself, uploaded the pictures and proceeded to curse a couple car window reflexions (we were moving, it was cold, I was not allowed to be wee bit happy for a wee bit second because the step father likes to castrate me like that), called my brother and gloated about how I'm basking in the snow while he's slowly cooking in his own sweat, he kindly reminded me he does not like snow as I do, I still gloated.

Um. Pics to come, and also those little stories I owe Anna and Zo.

Much love, bbs. Which you can tell by my effusive reccing of (ha!) yet another ST fic. I'll go back to Spn and J2, promise. It's just, you guys, ST is soooo shinyyyyy! and snarky.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you lots and would tremendously appreciate it if you could pick up your damn phone. You know I always wish the very best for everybody you and this time is no exception, you're an amazing person and I kind of sort of worship admire you enough to tell you so. Hence the public acceptance of my own shortcomings happiness and gratefulness that I have you in my life and that you're our big brother. Also, Sophie wishes you'd pick up your damn phone as well.

Feliz cumpleaños, hermano!

Two things: ( that I took away from this episode )

Kitty pics tonight. ::sticks tongue out at Mousey::

And almost exclusively for your benefit.

Your respective stuff is in the mail already, and according to the nice clerk at the front desk, it should be getting to destination between the next eight to ten days. Hopefully it will be so and you'll get it sometime this year. Literally.

Also? LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED!! I may need to bask in it.

In other news, I'm almost done wrapping presents and shall be off to meet the family tomorrow morning. My brother is freaking out and I feel way in over my head with him, but this is exactly why he came here in the first place. So I guess 'making do' will be the catch phrase of the season.

Y'all have fun while I'm gone, though. M'kay?

Leave me a comment and I will reply with why I like you. If I don't know you, I'll either make something up or tell you why I like your LiveJournal. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal.

P.S.: My brother arrives today. Eeeee! ::twirls::

I've been kind of reticent about sharing this with people, mostly on account of my mother not wanting me to tell people, but also because I'm not sure I'd be able to handle things if worse case scenario comes to be, which oddly enough is the very reason I'm posting about this at all.

A few months ago my step-father was diagnosed with skin cancer, they caught it in early stages and so surgical procedure was neither extensive nor dangerous, but it was stressing, especially since everybody involved seemed (seems) to be walking on egg shells around me on this topic, yes I did break down into tears over the phone when mom first told me, yes I did worn a gap on the hospital's waiting room floor while he was in the O.R. and yes I have been going crazy over all the possible might have beens, and worse, could bes, but I'm fine. Considering.

And honestly it's not even the cancer itself what's making me crazy, it's the implications and mom's policy of utmost secrecy (I'm assuming the step-dad is in on it as well, but I'm pretty sure it was her idea on the first place and he's just too tired/worried/in another headspace to really antagonize her over it), in the first place, it means I'm going to be even more paranoid about terminal conditions in the family, especially my sister who is the spit image of her dad and has already experienced several skin conditions at her tender age, and I'm already overloaded with all the crap my family's been going through over the last six or so years (I have an uncle who is both schizophrenic and drug addict, imagine the lovely dinner conversation we've had over him) and adding possibilities to that list is just too taxing; on the other hand, the attitude they've taken toward me is driving me up the damn wall, I mean, I understand their motivations and I get it that they're honestly worried about me and they're doing it out of kindness/love/protection but it needs to stop, it makes me feel handicapped somehow, like I hadn't actually dealt with Evan and I'm still stuck there or,  the one that actually hurts me, that I'm unable to move past it, but since this isn't about me I can't really sit people down and tell them to stop. Jared has been there for me, but he's got his own plate kind of full right now and I'm pretty convinced he's planning on some major changes in his life and he's gonna need some space to think on that, and second (?) as much as I understand where my mom's coming from, I do so only in an intellectual level.

Thing is, the step-dad's family has the entirely wrong idea about where he stands financially, they seem to think his connection to us (who are traveling somewhat constantly) speaks about his wallet's depth, which it doesn't. And mom has been put, several times, in the position of calling up on her marriage and Sophia to keep them in line (or at bay, as I think is more the case) and this is no way to live. I see this. But I'm also of the mind that your mother-in-law should know her son is in a tight spot (granted, I might be taking the case a little too far, but her eldest did die of cancer herself, so I'm thinking she might wanna know), and ultimately, if you don't want the greedier elements to step in, you'd be very diplomatic and cover your bases with your verbalization, but you'd still tell them because they have the right to know, and this is the crux of it for me, not only does the family deserve to know, the man in question might actually need to feel supported by his loved ones (and yes we were there, I even held his hand while he was getting his TAC scan, but still, I'm not his mother or his sister so it's not really the same) and my mother seems to have taken that away from him for what are, essentially, petty reasons.

It is also entirely too possible that she had more, or even other, reasons to act the way she did and such reasons are either need to know material, or none of my business at all, but still, it makes me slightly queasy that my mother has behaved the way she has.

Anyway, this post seems to have gotten out of hand and I'm not sure I even had a point coming in here at all, but this stuff needed to get out of my chest. Now it's out there and I don't feel like choking on some dark secret anymore... yeah, my reasons aren't so noble either, I know.

After expending the entire day freezing my ass off sorta babysitting for the neighbor, I come home and call my sister, it seemed like the thing to do, you know?

Much conversation is had and when the well of "all the things I've done with my winter break" runs dry this exchange follows:

S: So, anything interesting happened to you today?
Me:... I stubbed my toe?
S: (with all the wisdom of a ten-year-old) You're so silly sometimes. I meant something really interesting. And cool.
Me: (getting it) Oh, right, like all the interesting and cool things that constantly happen to you. Is it? Well?
S: Um, don't tell Dad yet, but I joined a rock band.
Me:Wow. I stubbed my toe.

I'm old, y'all! While my ten-year-old sister is out there, running around in her colorful parka and her rock band membership, I'm home early, stubbing my toe. ::headdesk::