I still have issues
Jan. 1st, 2009 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tea_and_inkAs you can tell.
Despite being utterly sober last night (migraine, this crap only happens to a very selected few, like me, because I'm a special little flake) and yet feel so, so hung over today, it was a nice celebration here in the G household, everybody but the little sis and I got drunk like there'd be no tomorrow and I got to watch, feeling vaguely benevolent toward the crazed grown-ups whose example I'm supposed to follow. A part of my brain knows that came out somewhat wrong, but we're ignoring my brain today.
There were high hopes last night, the world would right itself, we'd become better people simply by standing upon our chairs (ritual that does have an actual meaning, I just never bothered finding out what it was) and surveying the brightly lit world of our living room. I felt hopeful and happy and all was right. But then I woke up this morning to find that this year is predicted to be the hottest one of the five hottest ones ever had on record. Israel is preparing to hit full-on on Palestine. Argentina's president wardrobe has depleted the nation's budget by a few thousand (millions?) dollars because, apparently, a woman in her position cannot walk around "dressing like a poor". My uncle is still doing drugs and my gran is still dying of untimely diagnosed cancer.
Yeah. I'm a very bright beacon of hope today.
BUT. Y'all are awesome people who do brighten my day just that tad and thus make it all so much better. So I do think it'd be appropriate to wish you all a happy New Year, or as happy as it can possibly be for each and every one of you, all things considered. Last year was incredibly difficult for my family, seriously rough patches were hit and seemingly survived. We're still together and I still love them with everything I am, so I'm taking this as a good omen.
I feel strangely existential today, I blame the day's meaning and the fact that I'll have to re-learn to date stuff, this always gets me going on subjects such as how life seems to happen so fast and we're always wishing for time to slow down, or else we're desperate it goes by faster, we're always wanting something we cannot have which, according to Freud and Lacan, is a good thing because it keeps us going, always looking, always changing and in the end we change only to become more like ourselves (this is the point of psychological treatment, I've been told) and in doing so we find our freedom. This idea makes sense, it's just so painful to get there, the process, that we don't really want to bother. Well, this is my New Year resolution: face things and try to do so from my own step stool, not somebody else's, try to be as me as possible. Maybe Zen or Buddhism would be advised, you know that whole "the journey is the destination" thing, might help with the dark spots. Whatever, I still want to change the world, but baby steps, dude, baby steps.
Since today it's my two years LJ anniversary, I AM NOT CUTTING THIS BEHEMOTH. ::sticks tongue out::
Despite being utterly sober last night (migraine, this crap only happens to a very selected few, like me, because I'm a special little flake) and yet feel so, so hung over today, it was a nice celebration here in the G household, everybody but the little sis and I got drunk like there'd be no tomorrow and I got to watch, feeling vaguely benevolent toward the crazed grown-ups whose example I'm supposed to follow. A part of my brain knows that came out somewhat wrong, but we're ignoring my brain today.
There were high hopes last night, the world would right itself, we'd become better people simply by standing upon our chairs (ritual that does have an actual meaning, I just never bothered finding out what it was) and surveying the brightly lit world of our living room. I felt hopeful and happy and all was right. But then I woke up this morning to find that this year is predicted to be the hottest one of the five hottest ones ever had on record. Israel is preparing to hit full-on on Palestine. Argentina's president wardrobe has depleted the nation's budget by a few thousand (millions?) dollars because, apparently, a woman in her position cannot walk around "dressing like a poor". My uncle is still doing drugs and my gran is still dying of untimely diagnosed cancer.
Yeah. I'm a very bright beacon of hope today.
BUT. Y'all are awesome people who do brighten my day just that tad and thus make it all so much better. So I do think it'd be appropriate to wish you all a happy New Year, or as happy as it can possibly be for each and every one of you, all things considered. Last year was incredibly difficult for my family, seriously rough patches were hit and seemingly survived. We're still together and I still love them with everything I am, so I'm taking this as a good omen.
I feel strangely existential today, I blame the day's meaning and the fact that I'll have to re-learn to date stuff, this always gets me going on subjects such as how life seems to happen so fast and we're always wishing for time to slow down, or else we're desperate it goes by faster, we're always wanting something we cannot have which, according to Freud and Lacan, is a good thing because it keeps us going, always looking, always changing and in the end we change only to become more like ourselves (this is the point of psychological treatment, I've been told) and in doing so we find our freedom. This idea makes sense, it's just so painful to get there, the process, that we don't really want to bother. Well, this is my New Year resolution: face things and try to do so from my own step stool, not somebody else's, try to be as me as possible. Maybe Zen or Buddhism would be advised, you know that whole "the journey is the destination" thing, might help with the dark spots. Whatever, I still want to change the world, but baby steps, dude, baby steps.
Since today it's my two years LJ anniversary, I AM NOT CUTTING THIS BEHEMOTH. ::sticks tongue out::
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 08:50 pm (UTC)new year, new good things. <3
no subject
Date: 2009-01-05 12:37 pm (UTC)Thank you, bb! you know what the first fic I read was? It was a DCU fic, so you oughta be proud of that, missy.
::blows kisses your way::
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 08:24 pm (UTC)And happy LJ anniversary! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-05 12:38 pm (UTC)Why, thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-05 01:37 pm (UTC)I should have more time this week - I'll try to catch you *snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-07 10:40 pm (UTC)Sounds like a perfect plan <3
Happy Belated New Year luv! I've been catching up on friends posts and decided to drop in and say hello !
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 12:58 pm (UTC)Happy really belated New Year to you, babe! May you continue to rock!
I've been catching up on friends posts and decided to drop in and say hello !
See? you're already making good choices!